The Nine Fruits of the Soul and how to incorporate them into your life

I recently heard a Reverend refer to one of the Nine Fruits of the Soul.  It made me wonder what are the Nine Fruits and once I’d found out, it made me wonder how I could incorporate them into my life to help me live my best life possible. After all, as far as I’m humanly aware, my life will end one day and I want to make sure I live it as well as I can, within the resources at my disposal, right up until the day I die.  How many of us manage to lead lives we are proud of?  Would you make changes now if you could do?

The Nine Fruits of the Soul is a term I prefer to use to describe the concept of the Nine Fruits of the Spirit which is a verse that comes from the bible:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22)

Personally, Nine Fruits of the Soul resonates with me better, because it removes the idea of the belief in a particular God and ‘soul’ is a word most of us can identify with.   Whatever your spiritual beliefs, or lack of them, we can all make a positive difference to the world if we try and incorporate the Nine Fruits of the Soul into our daily lives.  So what are they?

The Nine Fruits of the Soul

1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Longsuffering
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self-control

Furthermore, what can we do to incorporate the Nine Fruits of the Soul into our lives on a more consistent basis to create positive change?

Most of us can say that we do or experience the Nine Fruits of the Soul sometimes, some more than others, but what if we could bring the Nine Fruits of the Soul into our existence to form the foundation from where we operate on a consistent basis?  What would the world look like if we operated with less suspicion and more openness, more generosity and less selfishness, less judgement and more kindness, more self-control and less irresponsible behaviour?  How about if we started to become more aware of our behaviour so that we could incorporate the Nine Fruits of the Soul to become part of our core identity?

What is your purpose?

Do you ever find yourself questioning the point of it all?  What are we here for?  What is our purpose on earth?  How can we save the earth from the rape and pillage committed to it by us, the human race?  Sometimes I find myself pondering these sorts of questions and I become frustrated at our arrogance and ignorance to believe that we are here to dominate the earth.  If profit is to be made, no matter what the other costs, money will win.  How long can earth sustain us?  How long should earth sustain us when we do so little to protect the very environment that allows us life.  We continuously bite the hand that feeds us.

Change starts with you and me

We need to take immediate action on a global scale to make the world a safer, more harmonious place to belong to.  Global scale action requires the involvement of governments, and ultimately governments are run by the power-needy who are accountable to balance sheets and generally what appears to be a fairly corrupt bunch of people.

There needs to be a change among the people. That’s you and me.  If we can begin to change on an individual level, with time, we might just begin to bring about change that is beneficial for the planet, beneficial for us and necessary for our and its very survival.  Celebrities such as Leonardo DiCaprio are taking advantage of their status to try and raise awareness of the perilous situation our planet is in due to our exploitation of it.  He has set up the Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation which commits to raising awareness of the challenges the planet faces as well as generating funds to achieve its objectives. A shift is underway and it’s down to you and me to propel it forward.

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Ripples of love

We need to cast our own ripples of love out into the ether and do it unconditionally, to offer it when it isn’t deserved, regardless of the cost or reward.  Maybe by integrating the Nine Fruits of the Soul into our psyche we can create the light to help us travel our paths in this burdened world by being the best people we can be and being accountable to the future welfare of our planet.

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The Nine Fruits of the Soul

Love

When we look at the state of the world it is hard to find the ripples of love.  If love permeated our lives, we wouldn’t need nuclear protocols, the secret services, military organisations or even locks on our front doors.  We turn on the news and witness misery, pain, death and suffering.  Where is love in that?  Furthermore, what is love?

Love is offering support with no expectation of reward, love is honesty, love is concern for another, love is hope, love is acceptance of another’s differences, love is humility.

The very foundation of the remaining Eight Fruits of the Soul is created from love.  How can we bring more love into our lives?  In essence, when we learn how to love ourselves in a non-egotistical way, when we live with self-love, we have no need to denigrate others, to sit in judgement or to build invisible barriers to keep the others out.  Loving ourselves means respecting ourselves and self-respect means we respect other people too.

How to incorporate more love into your life:

• Are your actions in line with love?
• Do your thoughts come from the foundation of love?
• Is the way you live your life largely in benefit of others?
• Do you offer your love generously for no reward?

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Joy

Joy sprouts from living a life of love.  It is not revenge, happiness at another’s suffering or a sense of one-upmanship.  Joy is a sense of contentment which comes from living a life of generosity, humility and honesty.

In the words of my daughter, “If you don’t jump, you’ll never land.”

Joy is the realization that we are living our lives in alignment with our true purpose.  Joy is about being present in the moment, taking time to listen and sharing our time with those who need it from us.

How to incorporate more joy into your life:

• Question yourself how you can offer more positivity into your life for the benefit of yourself and others.
• Check yourself when you start criticizing or belittling others.  Ask yourself what you gain from doing this so that you can understand what causes the negativity and can take steps to remedy it.
• How would people describe you?  Are you positive, negative, happy, grumpy, a complainer?
• Before going to bed write down three things you are grateful for every day.
• Remember to tell those you love that you love them.  Don’t assume they know it, demonstrate it.
• Start and end every interaction with people with a smile.  A smile is love freely given, says a thousand words and can change someone’s entire day.

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Peace

In our modern world with the ubiquitous threat of terrorism, long working hours, high divorce rates, soaring cancer and dementia-related deaths, it is hard at times to find ourselves at peace with the world.  Just as soon as you think you’re ticking along quite contentedly, a hurdle rears up and all of a sudden life as you once knew it has changed … again.

Having the ability to maintain peace when the world around you seems to have lost its head comes from leading your life with purpose. Once you know your why, challenges, upsets, hurdles, even threat of death can be maintained within perspective once you can see, feel and experience your purpose in life.

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”  Nietzsche, Philosopher

How to incorporate more peace into your life:

• What is your purpose?  If you haven’t given time to find it yet, put time aside to work out what your contribution to life is.
• Incorporate meditation into your daily rituals.  Regular meditation helps to calm the mind as well as providing you with a sense of belonging to something greater.
• Incorporate the habit of taking a few moments before responding to a situation that riles you.  Give yourself the time to step out of the emotional pull.
• Find your faith.  Countless patients, friends and family of mine have found incredible support during their most challenging times by finding their faith.
• Leave regrets, jealousies and resentments at the door.  They do you no good.  They serve only to embitter your heart while you send out negative energies, so learn to forgive those who have done you wrong.  Your forgiveness doesn’t mean you accept what wrong was done to you, rather it frees up your energy for better use.  Why give the person who wronged you further power over you?  Let it go.

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Long-suffering

Long-suffering refers to patience.  Patience appears to be in short supply these days.  Whether you experience it on the roads, in a queue, making an appointment, impatience is endemic in our society.  And why?  Because time is short.  Time is our most valuable asset, but does being impatient actually result in us reaching our end goal any faster?  No, it just frustrates us and makes us look pretty stupid to those observing us.

Patience is a difficult virtue to promote as we have become so accustomed to getting things immediately.  However, becoming impatient speeds up nothing. Furthermore, it fills us with negative energy as we silently, and sometimes not-so-silently fizz as we charge up our nervous systems with a toxic cocktail of chemicals.

How to incorporate more patience into your life:

• Bring meditation into your daily ritual.  A lot is written about the restorative, relaxing power of meditation, and for good reason.  It works.  It slows down the whirring of the brain, helps us to step back from becoming emotionally hijacked and floods our systems with endorphins which boost our immune systems and make us feel a whole lot happier.
• Regularly practice deep breathing exercises. Deep breathing fills the body with oxygen and nutrients and helps the body to detoxify.  What’s more, deep breathing relaxes the body and mind which helps you to become more patient.
• Use your ears and mouth proportionately.  When you are listening to someone, make sure you are empathically listening to them, not just hearing them.
• Get used to not receiving what you want all of the time.  Become friends with feeling uncomfortable.  The more you are used to coping when life isn’t a bed of roses and challenges are rearing their heads, the easier you will find it to cope, remain calm and maintain your patience when things get really tough.
• Remember you form a tiny part of an enormous world and universe.  Your impatience and demands can seem insignificant when you gain perspective of the miniscule part you play in the history of earth.  However, make sure that whatever contribution you make to living your life is a positive one, sourced from a foundation of love and generosity.

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Kindness

Kindness is easy to achieve if you can nurture the Fruits of the Soul we have already mentioned.  It requires us to come from a position of love, to live a life of joy, spreading peace and offering patience.

Kindness is displayed from a preparedness to help with the expectation of no reward, to put somebody else’s needs before your own, to actively seek to alleviate the suffering of others.

As Plato once said, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

How to incorporate kindness into your life:

• Be kind to people that you don’t like.  This can be tricky, particularly when you’re feeling tired or low on energy.  However, remember that often people who actively criticize or belittle others are coming from a situation of hurt themselves.  Furthermore, offering a gesture of kindness is much nicer than scowling or being rude to someone, even if they’re not top of your Christmas card list.
• A gesture as simple as a smile or an attentively placed hand on the shoulder or arm can be enough to demonstrate kindness.  It will make you feel better than offering negative emotions and will no doubt have more of an impact on that individual than you could ever imagine, even if they don’t openly admit it.
• Be the kindness trailblazer and if people want to be grouchy back, let them.  It’s no skin off your nose, but by offering kindness you are opening your heart and living your life in alignment with positivity and love.
• Offer compliments to people.  Help to deliver little nuggets of happiness to people by offering your kindness in words.
• Always hold the door open for someone.  This comes down to basic manners, but just as impatience seems to be on the up, so does the lack of general consideration for people.  Be polite and hold the door open.
• Say thank you.  Again, this comes down to basic manners, but a sincere thank you makes a big difference.  It will make you feel better about yourself and will most certainly be gratefully received by the person your thank you is aimed at.

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Goodness

Do you know people who just make you feel comfortable?  You know that they won’t gossip about you, will have your back if life gets tough and will support you when you need it?  These types of people are good people.

Goodness is an all-encapsulating quality.  Goodness is the foundation of all the Nine Fruits of the Soul. Without goodness there is no engine to fire up the other Fruits.

Animals often seem quick to sense goodness in a person.  Goodness is radiated by a certain type of calming, safe energy that animals appear to instinctively home in on.  So beware the person they run away from!

How to incorporate more goodness into your life:

• Find your purpose and let your decisions be formed by following your purpose. When your life is aligned with your purpose you will find it easier to develop your sense of goodness.
• Allow yourself to be inspired by other people’s stories.  Read autobiographies and stories that inspire you and which fill your soul with admiration of those people’s experiences.
• Take time away from the hustle and bustle of life to recalibrate, to remember who you are and what qualities you have to share.  It’s important to give yourself time to rest and recuperate so that you live as the true you, not some fragmented version whose life is spent dashing unconsciously from one thing to the next.
• Be present.  Whatever you are doing, or not doing, enjoy the moment fully.  Even if you are doing chores, become aware of yourself and your chore.  Become aware of how your clothes feel on your body, how your breath feels as it goes in and out of your lungs, the warmth of your skin, the blinking of your eyes.  Being present helps to stop the mindless chatter we deafen ourselves with and helps the sense of goodness to be more apparent.  When we are content it is easier for our goodness to shine through.  An informative resource I can recommend about learning to be more present is a book called The Power of Now: A Guide To Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle.

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Faithfulness

How many people do you know who you can trust?  I mean really trust?  Who could you entrust with your deepest secrets and have absolute confidence that no matter what, that person would keep your secret?  If you’re lucky, you can probably count those people on one hand.  It’s more likely that you can count them on one or two fingers alone.

How about you?  Can you trust yourself?  When the chips are down are you completely and utterly trustworthy?  Faithfulness requires integrity and respect.  Respect for yourself and respect for others.  When faithfulness is mentioned, it tends to conjure up images of love partners wagging a negative finger at a potential temptation, but faithfulness applies to all areas of life where trust and security are needed.

We need people we can trust

We need people who we know we can trust.  They help to form the cement that makes us feel safe.  We need parents who love us unconditionally, we need siblings who pull out all the stops when needed, we need friends who will support us when we turn up on their doorstep at 2 in the morning reaching out for help.  Unfortunately, the only statistics available that reflect the effects of unfaithfulness fall within the remit of published divorce statistics, and these refer to reasons why marriages fail.  Currently 42% of marriages in the UK end in divorce.  In the US the figures quoted for marriages ending in divorce range from 40% – 50%.

The rate of divorce is actually declining slowly, but these figures are still high.  Unfaithfulness is the second most cited reason for ending a marriage.  Financial difficulties are cited as the first reason.  These statistics don’t say much for our ability to be faithful do they?

Faithfulness builds relationships.  It is a commitment to honour another with honesty and integrity.  Without faithfulness, we risk undermining confidence in one another.  Moreover, we break trust and irreparably damage relationships.  Furthermore, a lack of faithfulness carries a high price tag which regrettably is often irreconcilable.

How to incorporate faithfulness into your life:

• Make a commitment to yourself that faithfulness to another person is rooted in honesty and integrity.
• When temptation is close, remind yourself of the potential hurt and damage you are about to cause another person who you say you love.
• Faithfulness is you at your best.  Lack of faithfulness is you at your worst.
• If you find it difficult to maintain your faithfulness, explore the reasons why.
• Resolve the reasons causing your lack of faithfulness making sure that kindness and honesty underlie your resolution.
• Avoid starting gossip or being part of gossip.  Gossip is a cheap way of belittling someone else for your own gain.  It reflects badly on you internally as well as externally.  What’s more, nobody trusts a gossip.

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Gentleness

I struggled with this paragraph when I came to write it as I found it hard to differentiate between kindness and gentleness. Even looking at dictionary definitions didn’t help much.  Where I believe that kindness emanates from the trait of unselfishness, I think that gentleness comes from showing tenderness and is more associated with the doing of a kind action.

My grandfather was a big bear of a man, a builder by trade and one of the most gentle men I have ever known.  Whenever I hear the word gentle I always think of him.  Gentle is one of my favourite words as it brings such a soft and caring image to my mind.  Interestingly, a gentle person is kind, but a kind person isn’t necessarily gentle.

Gentleness requires an inner strength to be gentle towards others, even under provocation.  Being gentle means owning a powerful softness of spirit, an ability to reach out to someone with a tender gesture of love or kindness to relieve suffering, to help with a burden, to help someone feel connected and loved when they are feeling lonely and isolated.  Gentleness incorporates humility and grace.

How to incorporate gentleness into your life:

• Find ways to support friends, family, loved ones and even strangers by doing something kind for them.
• When someone is hurting, reach out your hand to gently signal your connection and empathy to them.
• Forgive those who have hurt you.  Offer them thoughts of gentleness and let bygones be bygones.
• Try to not stand in judgement of others.  Accept them for who and what they are.  Being gentle doesn’t mean you agree with everyone, rather it asserts your calmness and humility in the generosity of your character.

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Self-control

The last of the Nine Fruits of the Soul, self-control is the one that probably causes us the most difficulty.  From lusting after your neighbour to resisting the biscuit barrel, self-control is an aspect of our lives we constantly try and keep in check.  But it’s difficult.

Self-control isn’t just limited to the needs of the flesh.  We live in a society where materialistic gain has become a part of everyday life, particularly in the western world.  And what’s more, we don’t just want it, we want it right now!  It seems that we have lost our ability to look forward to certain pleasures.  Criticism, judgement, impatience, resentment would all be better handled if we became more used to exerting self-control.  If you are unable to do it yourself, find a coach or therapist that can help you restore balance.

How to incorporate self-control into your life:

• Become aware of healthy limits and stick to them.  Sometimes we get so out of kilter that we forget what normal, healthy limits are.  If you know you have a problem with something in particular, create a framework around it that enables you to exert self-discipline.
• Make a list of behaviours you need help with and become aware of triggers that lead to the impulsive behaviour. By raising your awareness of the triggers, you will be better equipped to deal with them next time they arise.
• To exert self-control over cravings, draw up alternative strategies you can use immediately the craving starts to nag at you.  Instead of lighting up a cigarette, go for a walk or call a friend, do 10 star jumps or some deep breathing exercises.  Just make sure you work out a few alternative strategies that suit you that you can use to beat the craving.
• Self-control comes from choice.  Ultimately you choose whether to do something or not. You aren’t a pawn on somebody else’s chess board.  You choose what actions you take.  Your actions are not the responsibility of anyone else other than you.
• Be honest with yourself about what aspects of your life need more self-control and then set realistic targets.  Review your progress regularly and at each review write 5 positive statements about how your increased self-control in a particular aspect of your life has benefited you. This will help you to focus on the positives of having self-control and make your progress easier.

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Making our own ripples

Each of the Nine Fruits of the Soul are powerful in their own right.   Furthermore, they have the ability to transform and enhance your individual life as well as touching those lives around you.  What changes can you make to create your own ripples of goodliness to share out among humankind?

Accept the cracks – they let the light in

The Nine Fruits of the Soul can inspire us to be our best, but we also need to remember not to chastise ourselves when we don’t manage to be our best at every moment.  It’s easy to self-sabotage, to hurt ourselves and others, even when we realise we are doing it.  However, having the awareness of the Nine Fruits of the Soul and a willingness to incorporate them into our lives can help set us upon a path which will lead to fulfilment for us and for those whose lives we touch.  Ultimately, we owe it to ourselves and we owe it to the future of our planet.

Reciprocating love

Remember the ripples of love?  Each atom of positive energy you send out into the universe will be reciprocated by positive energy back to you.  You get what you give out.  And by living our lives within the framework of the Nine Fruits of the Soul, maybe we will be able to look back on our lives with a smile, knowing we did the best we could.

More importantly, maybe our individual efforts will form part of something much greater as the ripples of love touch those in the darkest corners.  Imagine if our individual efforts could help heal the differences between religions, borders, heads of state and power-hungry influencers.  Let us create such a swell of goodliness that it reaches those who need to experience it most and let us hope that by incorporating the Nine Fruits of the Soul into our lives we can help to make a positive impact on this precious planet we call home.

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